Tuesday, July 14, 2015
How to remain convivial in a relationship?
It is extremely important and awesome to maintain a harmony in relationship. Any relationship which is frequently dispersed with noisy confabulations, bitterness and irritating demeanor will not last for a long time. Contrarily, the harmonious relationship encircles with conviviality and joy will provide enough fun and frolic. Despite our full knowledge to keep any relationship sweet and blissful, why there is a disharmony frequently? Relationship exists between people or with things. Many a time, we give importance to things, comforts and pleasures at the expense of our one to one relationship. And, sometimes our attitude varies not in proportion. Since, we are very busy or pretend to be busy, we give our concentration to many trivial issues or mundane activities considering the same as an urgent requirement to be discharged without fail and sometimes at the cost of sacrificing the relationship. We seldom think how to increase the state of the relationship. Now-a-days, it is a customary affair for anyone to reply smugly that I am extremely busy and not to be disturbed at all. In reality, we may not be busy for any effective work. We do not become serious to provide a real good time for parenting or sibling. In today’s nucleus family culture and concept, we search for either wife or husband but not a mother-in-law. Though this is the trend, the family or the society cannot run in that fashion. One has to learn and face the real situation as they come.
Today’s world, where we live, is practically a virtual one. We are busy in sending mails, SMS, and many other forms of message to remain in touch, but meeting in person becomes a less importance. Without physical touch, eye to eye contact, warm handshake and affectionate embrace, the relationship loses its charismatic power of attraction. In a family life, we have to fulfill many roles and all these responsibilities are interconnected, and a warm and smooth relationship is getting zoomed up when you smile with a greeting to others. Simply, the value of materialistic comfort of ours cannot strengthen the mutual relationship of people to people. We must know how to face people and situations as they come before you. Harmony is an attractive proposition preached by many to avoid bitterness in the relationship. But harmonious relationship is only possible when there is a harmony within. If you are always tempted to visualize a chaotic situation and non-cooperation, how do you expect a cordial relationship with others? In that scenario, all your actions, thoughts and spoken words will reflect disharmony, which will result in boisterous environment.
The internal harmony is essentially based on four distinct characteristics of your personality, which are physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Each of these traits has its own identity and requirement to display the proficiency of the same. Each level gets satisfied when the fulfillment of the specific needs are met through. In the first and foremost level, you need food, cloth and shelter and without the same, your physical need will be completely destroyed. Unless these basic needs are realized, you are bound to be agitated mentally and also physically. Then you cannot cope up relationship amicably. Contrarily, if these needs are taken care of, you are fit to establish a relationship in a positive direction.
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In the second level, you are clustered through emotions. If you are able to extend love and in reciprocation, you get enough love, you are emotionally nourished and balanced. In a balanced state of mind, no one can ever be disgruntled and befuddled at least in a relationship. They always observe any relationship like a calm sea, of course with occasional waves dangling down and thrusting on the banks, but not doing any harm to others. In the third and the intellectual level, you prefer to have good thoughts and to utilize the same for others benefits. This intellectual level does not mean that you need to sacrifice your comforts always, but the influence of good thoughts will prompt you to do good to others. But if your brain is getting deprived of intellectual thoughts, positive outcome will evade you. You will be then bombarded with irrelevant thoughts, which will make you fluster as you will not be able to achieve any real output and you will not be cordial at all in your relationship. You will then survive on negative thoughts, because the abode of irrelevant thoughts is the negativity. People are so busy to manage their basic needs of what to eat, where to stay and what to wear; they have very less time to focus on the issue of intellectual input. This leads to frustration to many. Ultimately, most of us remain intellectually unfulfilled. For example, you select a profession, not exactly in line with your creativity. You have selected the same mainly based on the parental’s advice. You have also thought that it will give a lot of scope of flourishing growth in terms of pecuniary benefits and promotions. Under such circumstances, it will not be possible for you to arouse your intellectuality. You have buried the same in a grave as you have rummaged for a profession, which throttles your positive thought process towards creativity.
A stage comes in our life when any materialistic comfort will not be appealing anymore. We will be discontented despite our abundance and material success. We will then start introspecting with a question what is the meaning of life? What is the main reason of our Creator to create this universe? What makes me and others happy unconditionally? Why there is so much sorrow, grief, pain and sufferings in this so lovely and glamorous universe? When we try to search the answers to these questions and not getting the same to our satisfaction, we become perplexed and life seems to be dull and meaningless. To overcome this critical impasse at the intellectual level, we may search for like minded people to illuminate the knowledge of purpose of life’s existence. If you are able to find out many like minded people, who possess intellectual thoughts and then mingle with them, perhaps you will be able to get answers to all your said questions and lead a life of excellence. This vital and most important prerequisite and benchmark for a harmonious relationship is generally ignored and bye-passed. If you are able to put your energy in the direction of searching a common purpose and maintain harmony in all your relationship with your spouse or your family members or friends, or office colleagues or even with your acquaintances, you will be never in dearth of friendship, which is one of the effective tools of our existence in this great world. Although, it looks simple to express these philosophical aspects of convivial living, but in reality, it needs a lot of perseverance, patience, coolness and intellectuality.
Human beings are the most sophisticated creations of God and have enough intellectual power to dominate and curb the negative aspects of lifestyle, but the grandeur and glitzy environment and greediness to acquire a wealth makes us over-enthusiastic and at time, we forget the need of harmony in relationship. If you want this harmony constantly, you must induce your power of intellectual thoughts, so that you will never lose the sight of harmony in your dealing with others.