Monday, May 4, 2015

Handle conflict efficiently to make life peaceful

Life is full of mysteries. You have to handle many conflicts, but how you handle the same with right choice; it depends on your experience and skill.  Life provides us many choices.  You have to ascertain which one is the correct choice.  Since, we have so many choices, most of the time; we struggle between these various options. When you are not able to choose, you psychologically get demurred and ultimately, it may happen that you select the wrong option against your wish. In this way, instead of reducing the conflict, the same aggravates more. Now, by selecting this wrong option, you lose the precious opportunity and efforts to choose the right one. So, your life becomes a chaotic, just because you ignore the right one and select the wrong one out of your compulsion. So, come out of the conflict, it is utmost important to select the option with a peaceful and analytical mind to lessen the gravity of the conflict. Conflict in any situation makes us go round and round. People always tell that life is mostly full of sorrow, conflicts and ill feelings, but in reality, it is not correct. It is only our apprehension that puts us in more conflicts. Whenever there is a conflict, maybe the same is insignificant or negligible, our mental dilemmas evolve from our personalities which always develops on duality and we exaggerate the whole situation.  

The Hindu religion teaches us of our qualities as Sattva, Rajas and Tamas and these qualities influences our choice of actions to counter various conflicts. These qualities  fling us in different directions, enabling us to become confused in these types of situations. The quality of Sattva guides us towards harmony, peace, wisdom, integrity, fellow feeling and enlightenment. When you have these qualities either acquired or you have got the same as inborn, you are not bothered about your ego. You always try to ascertain the truth and the  transcendental values  of life. 

The persons who possess more Rajas qualities, will be more interested to fulfill their desires through capturing the urge of achievement, possession of materialistic comfort and power. Ultimately, they become discontented most of the time. 

The qualities of Tamas make you sluggish, idle, procrastinate and jealous and you will not be motivated to do anything.  Every one of us has all these three qualities in various degrees and proportions.  If you always work for a lot of money, name and fame, you may ultimately land into a phase, where you will not be interested in all these outward conflicts and materialistic gain. Then you will not be interested with your life.  Contrarily, a person who is focused to detach from all these outwards passions, may sometimes get obsessive thoughts to cultivate the said qualities, of course, at the cost of destroying his peace of mind.  In the same way, if you are always engaged in the conflict game of success and failure, you will be losing your harmony.

The diverse nature of these qualities always makes you in psychological conflicts. Sometimes, one of these qualities becomes more active and pulls the person from the other two and engages their life around it. Once you pull on one quality, the other two become not so significant. You may think that once you are inclined to one quality and suppressing the other two qualities may resolve the conflicts you face in your life; it is not so. 


In our worldly state of affairs, the parents often encourage their children to concentrate on the Sattva and Rajas qualities.  In this process, children are taught that they  have to  achieve career goals, positions, power, name and fame devaluing truthfulness and enlightenment to some extent. Though they are taught to embrace upon Sattva qualities also but seeing their parents mostly following the Rajas qualities, the children impersonate them. In this atmosphere,  these children often lose their value of idealism and then they suppress their innate temperament and run behind what the world recognizes most. Of course, some children are influenced by Sattva qualities from the beginning through the teachings of their parents, teachers and societies and ultimately they follow the path of righteousness in their adult lives. The Tamas qualities mostly are found in the people who always get engaged in the uncivilized activities and  take pride in doing so.

In order to understand the real meaning of various conflicts and its role, we must understand the nitty-gritty of the same, interplay of these three qualities and surmount the dual behavioral pattern in life. All these qualities are like different streams of water that influence our mind. Be aware of the current of this flow, and don’t get washed away with this flow. We have to identify these qualities in details that govern us and our personality.  When one particular quality tries to dominate us and influences us; we must ponder why it is happening in this way. Once we are able to identify the reason, we can counter the influence of one quality as against the other two qualities, and in this way, we would be able to lessen the gravity of various conflicts in our life. As stated above, all these three qualities are present within us and we have to control our mind in such a way that we get adapted to the influence of more Sattva and Rajas qualities. There is nothing wrong to follow Tamas qualities unless the same deteriorates your life’s charm. Apparently, this quality may look beneficiary to you, but in the long run it is harmful for your growth.For example, anger is a bad quality, but if you exercise this trait to fight against the corruption prevailing in the society; at that particular time, if you raise voice or show  anger, it is not harmful even though it is classified as Tamasik.

You must understand the conflict, its reason and then solve the same by exercising the power of these three qualities either in isolation or in combination.

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