Asymmetrical equation of power and love

Most of us pass through two fundamental forces of life and these forces always hover our mind and create enormous problems ultimately causing tensions; they are power and love. Neither we can get rid of these two distinct different forces nor we can accept them in toto all the time. But in an environment of changing social needs, we require them, of course, at a varying degree. We are in agonies whether we acknowledge both of them at the same time or shall we tilt to one at the cost of another and vice-versa.  Whatever may be  the decision, we will be identified either as a power follower or a love follower. The most pertinent and the intelligent way to overcome this turbulent affair is to learn to work with each of them.  Instead of ours being guided by them or their stronghold on us, we must deal with power and love as per the merits and demerits of a particular situation. We have to learn and practice how to use and balance both these forces in life for the benefits of self and all the people surrounding us.  If you read the book “Power and Love” by the Swedish author Adam Kahane, you will find an especial emphasis of theory and practice of these two forces and how to use the same in our social context. He elaborates that people who belong to the power-camp believe that compassion and empathy are soft emotions and the same really do not matter for effecting social changes. They are the only hindrance for a full blown growth in the corporate sector.  These compassion and empathy should be limited to home, family and romantic affairs. They are very much helpful to exert influence on the weak, ineffective and soppy side of love. As per him, love-camp side is the complete enemy of power-camp as the later one is  ruthless and the great manipulators. To some extent, it is true, but that does not necessarily interpret that power-camp followers are always dictators. Love without power, and wherever it is prevalent, is not so productive and a result oriented proposition. It is particularly for the people who is not so desiring to achieve something for the fulfillment of any social causes. This desire  is not  from the completion point of view with respect to any social changes. Further, Kahane says that the concept of power and love is completely misunderstood and perhaps misjudged. The common people take these two forces as a certain impediment causing distresses only.

We always observe and criticize whoever is desirous to acquire more power and start dominating each other. It may be relevant even in our family lives. The followers of the power-camp are termed as selfish, people who are interested to exploit others and do not bother about others need and benevolence. We always raise our voice in support of exercising power in an ethical way. We opine that it must be exercised with all decorum possible. We, the power-campers like to subjugate others, make them subservient and demand their accountabilities. We prefer to exercise the power on others, but not for ourselves.  We are unable to see the dark side of this practice.  Contrarily, we enjoy this phenomenon.  But in reality, it is a fatal projection of behavior showing power, which is detrimental to the growth of a democratic society.  Further, it evolves the effervescence of autocratic ways of expression and scatters the thoughts through which, one can understand the importance of showing power.  Most of the time, this syndrome of showing power is for irrelevant issues and purposes.  It also makes the situations stressful and full of hullabaloo.

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In a situation which is less stressed, we must use both power and love. For that our motto must be to make the environment stress free. Practically, it may not be possible, but if the power-camp types use their power in a less rustic way and  transfuse  love simultaneously, the outcome will be far more pleasant. But under the involvement of various constraints causing stresses and by the influence of our old habits, we are unable to handle both power and love. It is seen that power-camp people prefer to remain in their comfort zone depriving and snatching others idyllic and ultimately, becoming more dominating, more ruthless and more chastising for no good a reason. These people act without any thinking.  Against this scenario, the people belong, to love-camp surrender to the opposite groups  and in the process, become more sentimental, more emotional, and more illogical and ultimately, termed as inactive, timid and subdued.

In the stressful situations, most of the decisions which are taken cause irreconcilable damages.  When decisions of utmost important nature are taken recklessly, consequential damages are irreversible. It is not an easy choice whether to choose power or love because preferential treatment won’t work and will not provide any clue for a better judgement and the solution of any problem. Both these traits are somewhat enigmatic, which constitute an over emphasizing obfuscation that must be reconciled on a regular basis being mixed with creative exposure. Without this balancing technique, one cannot handle the both distinctly different fundamental forces of power and love.  How you can become a somewhat expert in this balancing technique? The simple answer as per Kahane is that you have to intentionally use both power and love; love and power.  Metaphorically, it is like you're walking with your left foot first and then placing the right foot on a continuous basis to make yourself balanced in your regular walking.

Some people are of the opinion that in a demographic pattern of society, love-camp types must be a real architect of any development process and then only progress of any work will be sped up when this love is balanced with power occasionally. One has to understand that both power and love delineate the fundamental needs of social changes. If we opt for more power, the same will be more ruthless and will damage the requirement needed for social changes.  At the same time, if we stick only to love, the speed of transformation of the social changes will be very slow.  So, the cluster of both these two forces is very much essential to fill up the space of social changes.  If we want to address our toughest challenges, we must ensure to work with both these drives in tandem. Then only, it will do well for everybody.