Career women under the
affectionate shackles of marriage, motherhood as well as a profession will warm
the cockles of her family members by performing the various roles of vivacious
wife, loving mother and poignant worker.
To maintain the parity amongst all of these, sometimes it is very
painstaking and monotonous. Often they contemplate, what could be the ideal
role of mother to her children.
The following twenty tips
are very useful to become an ideal mother.
1. Quality time with children:
Despite busy
schedules, a working woman should extend her quality time to her children. If not on a regular basis, sometimes take
them to school, attend parent’s meetings, sit with them during their studies,
give company to their dance classes, painting competition, swimming club, etc. Children should be in a position to accept
the fact that they are not deprived of the company of their mothers. Also buy gifts for them occasionally for
which they will be sentient.
2. Make them self sufficient:
From the very beginning of the school
days, teach them to do their work on their own.
For example, let them tie the laces of their shoes, wear their clothes
on their own, keep the study bag ready and place the lunch box into the
bag. As they grow, teach them to do
their work by themselves. Self help is the best help and this should be
inculcated in their minds.
3. Teach
mannerism:
Teach them manners to respect the aged
and others. Make them social and watch
their behavior in social gatherings. If
they are shy, increase their confidence level so that they mingle with each
other, very freely.
4. Be
friendly with them:
Mothers and children are closely knitted
as far as sharing information is concerned.
Share thoughts with them, do gossip about your office colleagues and let
them share their experience about their teachers and friends with you. Do not indulge yourself in any other
activities while sharing the information with your children, because in that
case, they will feel neglected and it will get them detached instead of
enjoying your company.
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5. Give
importance to their opinions:
It has been seen that for any
decisions, whether it is strategically very important or trivial, children are
not encouraged to take part in the decision making. This is wrong. Rather, they should be tremendously incited
to take part in the decision making.
From the very beginning of their childhood, if this is being practiced,
then they will be at ease to take decisions in their adolescent stages itself
and subsequently for the remaining period of life. Whether it is for purchasing of a school bag
or going to the movie, if they are involved in decision making, they will
understand their importance and in the process, they will reciprocate the same.
6. Teach
them to be confident:
When children fail to achieve a desired
performance, try to teach them to take the same in good stride. Whatever may be the situation, how difficult
it may be, if one desires, he/she will be definitely successful – this self
confidence is to be built up in their mind.
Supposedly, if the child failed in the examination, the mother is to
console, extend support, and say soothing words, so that he/she overcomes the
failure phase. Inform them of the story
about Robert Bruce and the spider at equal interval of time so as to make them
understand that failure is the pillar of success.
7. Create
self respect feeling to them:
Teach them to concentrate on this
angle. They are to be explained that
they are not inferior to anyone. If someone upbraids them for no good reason or
to that matter, if some of friends behave rudely, teach them to protest but not
to accept at face value, by bowing their heads.
Teach them not to perform any work by which they will be degraded in
their own eyes.
8. When
needs, you have to be a guardian:
As and when required, punish them, but
not rudely and harshly. Do not utter any
unpleasant words which may demoralize them and dishearten them. If they are punished, they should be well
aware about the same. In this way, they
will be accustomed to why they are punished.
As a result, they will definitely avoid the activity for which the
punishment is meted out.
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9. Listen
to them very minutely:
Whenever you are sharing your quality
time with them, no matter even it is for a short while, make your all focus on
their each and every word with respect to their friends, teachers, what they have
done in the school, in the playground etc. Never indulge yourself to listen to them while
watching television or when you are in the midst of other works. This way, children will feel that you are not
giving any importance to them and they will lose their enthusiasm to share
thoughts with you.
10. Share
problems with them:
Please share your problems with your
children, if you face any unpleasant situation in your working
environment. For example, if you get
chided by your superiors, colleagues get jealous of your promotion, excessive
work pressure on certain occasions, unscheduled tasks bestowed on to you etc,
just share with them, not vividly but only narrating the abstracts. This way, they will sympathize with you and
you will be an ideal support system for them. When they observe that you share
your feelings with them, they will also exchange their thoughts to overcome
your loneliness.
11. Praise profusely:
Do not forget to appreciate your
children, if they perform well in extracurricular activities such as sports,
dance competitions, and quiz competitions, apart from their education. Make them aware that because of their
aptitude, they have performed well, even if, the matter is insignificant.
Praise them in front of outsiders. In this way, children will be encouraged and
their confidence level will be zoomed up.
But, the very important
thing is to be always remembered that excessive praise should not be showered
to make them overconfident. You have to
be alert to encourage them so that they can maintain their achievement level to
the best of the best of their capabilities.
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12. Keep
healthy relation with spouse:
Do not quarrel or create any scene in
front of your children. This may bring a
bad precedent. Children are fond of both
the parents and they do not like to see the skirmishes. If they find such type of atmosphere at home,
they feel themselves unsecured and ultimately become obdurate. If there is any difference in opinions for
any matter, settle amicably without the knowledge of children. Healthy and peaceful environment is the most
essential factor for their blossom.
13. Teach
them to handle frustration:
Children may suffer frustrations for
many reasons and during that time, they require mother’s affection more than
any other things. This affectionate role
of mother will make them ease. During the childhood, children may have fights
with their friends, they may be scolded by teachers in schools, they may not
perform well in examination and all these will lead to evaporate the smile off
their faces and your role will be to
know the reasons of their sullen faces, give encouragement and find out the
solutions so that they become tough mentally.
14. Express
love for children:
“I love you my child,” will be the
central message to be always chirped to them, even for the petty issues. Talk to them sweetly; hug them, plant kisses
on their forehead and cheeks. By the
touches of mothers, mental bonding of children increases. Their mistakes should not be glorified, not
to be criticized brazenly so that they become hopeless. Contrarily, by smiling, patting on their
shoulders, mothers must inform them the reason of their mistakes, give
solutions and in this way, children will become more self-confident. While extending your affection or love to
children, conditions should not be put.
It should be unconditional. For
example, children should not be told, “if you become first in the examination,
then I will gift you a cycle.” This is
normally done but in love expression, there is no place for stipulation. Children will take it, the other way
round. It is to be explained to them
that they are very dear and pet to their mothers.
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15. Develop
morality:
From the very childhood, mothers are to ensure the development of a
sense of the morality. They should be
taught not to touch the body of the elders by their legs, show respect to age,
avoid telling lies, not to extend harms to others, do not take things of others
without their knowledge. If children
commit these mistakes which are against the good morality, explain to them not
to do so, of course, with soothing words.
Good moralities of the future life will depend how these qualities are
built and developed from the early stage of the life.
16. Don’t
lose patience:
While talking to your children or during
the time of sharing any types of communications with them, do not lose your
patience. You may have to remember that children are far moodier
than adults. So, if children are not
able to understand your communication in the first instance, do not reprimand
them, but repeat the entire process by explaining to them slowly and bring the
confidence level to them that if they are unable to understand, they are free
to inquire from you. This is more
important for their education point of view.
Until that time, they do not understand any subject; explain to them
again and again without losing your patience.
17. Become
their support system:
When children become grown up, your
responsibilities do not cease. This is a
life long process. Once they become an
adult, you extend your support and cooperation to them. You have to maintain the status quo that you
are there, whenever they are in great need of you. You have to make sure from their childhood
that in any crisis management, you are always with them.
18. Time
management for self:
For your own, preserve some time from
the jostles and hassles of the daily chores of life. You are in the profession, a mother and top
of it, a wife, but, after performing all these roles, you must define a time
frame even for as low as 30 to 40 minutes on a daily basis only for you to get refreshed. This time is to be solely utilized for
reading any light novels, visiting a beauty parlor for makeup, inviting friends
for a tea or simply lazing around the house.
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You may also invest your this time
schedule in creative work. In this way,
you will be rejuvenated and equally your children will be inspired to follow
your steps.
19. Give
them proper and required sex education:
From the childhood, particularly from
adolescent stage, give them a proper sex education. Don’t give any vague replies to their questions
because these will make them more prone to unnecessary doubts and your
unsatisfied replies will make them more inquisitive gradually. It has been seen
that mothers normally avoid answers to their queries about sexual education,
make vague replies and simply waffle.
Mothers need to extend the quality sex
education to overcome their curiosity.
20. Mothers
should be role model:
Children are copy cats. What they see, they learn and so for any of
your actions or inactions, please ensure the correct measures from your
end. Before preaching, ensure that you
are not doing that. For example, if you
are a late riser, you cannot tell children the theory of “early to bed, early
to rise.” If you want to educate them,
“to share some things with others”, first and foremost, you have to share
something with your children so that they can learn from you. If someone visits your home for any help,
extend them help through your children.
Seeing these, children will follow your steps and consider you as their
role model.
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