Thursday, July 7, 2016

Love, its feeling and bonding

Love, its feeling and bonding
‘I love you’ is a very simple expression of showing affection.  People address their partners in this small sentence to give an impetus to their relationship. All people from youth to old express their feelings spontaneously through this friendly gesture. But this sentence is overused and undervalued because many a time, the intrinsic meaning behind this expression is missing. For example, before leaving for office, you might have told this sentence to your partner only to find that you two get engaged in a brawl in the evening hours.  How the love of morning evaporates within a period of ten to twelve hours?  The reason is, people like all other things, consider love as a commodity.  If the mind is elated because of any reason, your become enliven, and then you hug your partner and utter these few words. But before expressing your love, you must establish the vital chemical bonding if you like to take the fragrance of this expression. Otherwise, it would be a mere formality.
The subject of the relationship is not that well understood, and that is why morning love becomes evening blaster. In fact, it should not be. You can classify the human relationship as emotional intimacy, and informal and the formal bonding.  It is based on the exchange of thoughts, emotions and feelings and also the difference in opinion.  Today, the people are more aggressive in one hand, and on the contrary, they become more selfish.  Most of us focus our attention first on self-interest and then to their family members and nearer kin.  Because of this mental condition, we get less success in a relationship.  We guard our feelings from others as if it is a big crime.  We keep everything as private for no good reason.  When you are born, have you brought any privacy?  When you die, will you take anything from the world?  Then why you believe in so much protection for a period spanning not more than seventy to eighty years in general.  Because of privacy, we are not able to nurture relationships.  In this fragmented relationship, if you say “I love you,” the result will not be very cohesive for a long time. Both for mental peace and physical attraction, you need to relate to someone absolutely, and you have to trust someone blindly so that he can also trust you in the same way.  You have to do this exercise rigorously to overcome inhibitions imposed by slightest distrust 

Once the outer layers of integration of relationship are exhausted, you have to rely on the inner world to find out its channel to have an affinity either with living or non-living beings.  For example, you love one tree either planted in the outskirt of your house or a nearby garden, and you consider it as your companion. You develop some loving relationship for the tree. It is a secret and lovable relationship.  The tree is not in a position to talk but feel.  From that point of view, the tree becomes your friend and absorbs all your thoughts. Since you become friend mentally; you can share your emotions with that particular tree. You can call it is as emotional love. Sometimes, you share your guilt with your close friend or any near relatives who understand you better than others.  But you may find that you are not getting support what you like to receive. By confessing your fact, you would like to have a mental peace, and this type of love is known as intellectual love. Here, you may not have any urge to say ‘I love you’, but you need other person's moral support.  You need to make a balance between trust and showing your love. Ascertain any particular situation, and then utilize your intelligence and ensure whether the time is suitable to show your liking or trust.
Before that, you must understand that four important chemical bonding induce the love of different types. They are emotional, sexual, intellectual and spiritual bonding. You can assess this on your own.  You cannot show the similar kind of love for your neighbors as you show to your wife, children or parents.  It is not possible.  You love your wife, children or parents because they are your own. You love your parents out of reverence, affection, sense of duty and bonding.  Further, love cannot be conditional.  You or your spouse may bring this type of condition in your loving otherwise sweet relationship, but it will create conflict.  When it comes to children, most of the parents show unconditional love. But in today’s competitive world, parents want that their children should study hard, secure good percentage or even stand first or second, and in turn, they promise to part with costly gifts.  The parents bring condition, which causes the children’s anxiety, and they lose their confidence. The most commonly found aspect in a relationship is romantic love, which people search so that they can fall in love immediately.  How and when you can realize that you are in love?  Though there is no straight cut reply to this question, closing your eyes, focusing your attention on her face, body and mind, if you can equate a sort of a confluence, then you are in love with her. Whether she has the same realization, you have to ascertain the fact from her. Further, whenever you see someone, and if you become elated, there is a possibility that you get attached either romantically or spiritually. Again, it may happen that you are missing someone for long, and become restless, panicky, disturbed and losing your temperament, and you find out him suddenly. In this situation also, you will be developing an affinity. There is no magical or mystical moment of realization of love.  It comes unannounced and grows on you.  Love may originate at first sight, but it requires a considerable time before the bonding takes place and the lovers realize they are in love. There are four chemical bonds, which play a vital role in our growth of this faculty.  They are body chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry and spiritual chemistry.  The conjugal and all others relationships will be more distinct when all these bonding are useful.  But why you fail in love? Because you provide differential treatment to these bonds; some give attention only to the body chemistry. A few give importance to intellectual chemistry and some other may be giving recognition to the spiritual chemistry. We get easily attracted through bonding of body chemistry, but as it happens fast, it distracts equally at the same pace. It is a major factor in the growth of love, but your ignorance or not adherence to the other chemistry will put your love either ineffective or unsuccessful. You need to provide same importance to all the four types of bonding.

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