Thursday, June 2, 2016

Forgive and forget



In our daily lives, a quarrel to the varying degrees is inevitable.  Whatever the status-quo level you do have in the society, some people will like your demeanor and some others will mostly oppose you.  Now, you will have no to issue to with people or nominated groups, who has a liking for you.  Contrarily, there is always a possibility of your getting involvement into an argument with the people with whom you are not that friendly. In this type of situation, you would have two options. First, you ignore the issue even you are right, and forgive to stop arguments  instantly. Second, you try for some alternative measures to establish your opinion forcibly. In the first option, you are showing magnanimity by forgiving another person.  The second one is the path, which tantamount to take revenge.  Though this path is disastrous from the view of congeniality, but today, a majority section believes in this measure.  Which is the better option?  You need to decide depending on the circumstances and the intensity of the situation.  Destroying the mental peace of everybody, if you resort to take revenge, it may hurt the other party so badly that he will avoid you.  To my mind, pardoning someone even he has inflicted any types of mental harassment; you will be a in the eyes of God and many other religious minded people.  Forgiveness is the greatest quality, which God has bestowed upon us.  You must utilize such a quality given by God whenever you get a chance.  Further, forgiveness saves you from unworthy distractions, saves your precious times, and finally saves you from creating many unnecessary problems.  Forgiveness is an ideal solution to any problem. You have to know the right technique and the appropriate time to utilize this method.  If you get involved in taking revenge, the problem will aggravate, and ultimately the results will be a big zero.

By forgiving someone, you can not only buy the peace, but also the other party may become a good friend of yours.  After all, who can ignore the magnanimity of forgiveness? Contrarily, revenge will only waste time making the relationship stale and unhealthy.  In any quarrelsome and boisterous situation, people will always finger you for the predicament without knowing that this type of strategical  measure in pointing finger is a wrong precedence.  It is always wise to let you examine your role in this type of conflict of the clash.  If you are sad because of any reason, which is known to you only, then does not blame others. One has to ascertain the fact before arriving at a conclusion.  You should never focus on the other party.  Rather than this attitude, you must focus on your ability how to solve the problem amicably so that both the parties remain with an eye to eye contact and consider each other as their most reliable friends.  Most of the time, in our glamorous lifestyle, we face two types of choices, they are, “anti-other thinking and pro-self thinking.”  Anti-other thinking will make you little brash and stubborn, whereas pro-self thinking is always responsible for your elevation to a higher plane.  If forgiveness is a full stop, revenge is a semi-colon.  You can kill any unwanted situation by forgiving others, whereas revenge means endlessly extending it.  Forgiveness increases your power of positive thinking uninterruptedly.  Revenge fosters negativity, and negative thinking can lead to all kinds of evil actions. You may argue that forgiveness may not always bring a proper result, and the opponent may construe and take you as a weak person, and to avoid this, one must adopt the principle of tit-for-tat.  But tit-for- tat is a rebellion type of attitude, which aggravates the situation. Further, it will create a chain of unproductive and unpleasant reactions.   Forgiveness removes the problem from its source once for all.

A school of thought says that whoever forgives others for their wrong doings ultimately allures them to do more said types of activities. But it is not correct. The psychological research has established this fact that everyone is born with an ego and conscience. So, if you take the root of tit-for-tat, it will provoke the other party’s ego. But if you follow the path of forgiveness, it will activate other party’s conscience.  In any controversy, the conscience always plays a positive role. One must know that forgiveness and revenge are two types of moral culture for establishing a relationship between each other. It is up to you what type of relationship you want to have with others. The culture of forgiveness helps in building of a better society. If you establish a better culture of positivity in the society, it will develop more transparency. All the dispersed groups will integrate, the right spirit will emerge, and animosity will be decreased making the society a utopian environment.  The outcome of vengeance will be just opposite. A revenge culture will pollute the environment, and it will increase the culture of mistrust. In this type of environment, everyone will decide to fight with others, sometimes endlessly. In this way, the healthy society will be known as mistrust society. Today or tomorrow, you and me are supposed to do some wrong doings, and that is why, there is a proverb, “To err is human.” So, taking revenge means not only committing one mistake, but committing the same again and again. Remember, forgiveness provides us a lesson of doing wrongs with rights.  If “to err is human,” then forgive is even more human.  Because it increases your perseverance, patience and makes you cool most of the time. One you reach this stage in life, you will then forgive and forget whatever may be issue. 




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